PUBLISHED: 12:51 PM on Wednesday, March 9, 2005
Cruise rant...
Dear CCW:
A few months ago my wife and I decided to go on a cruise this spring just to see what all of the hubbub was about. Besides a little sun break in February might do us some good and I would be afforded the opportunity to be part of the problem. You know what I'm talkin' about... stand in the middle of the street in a foreign land and take pictures, ask stupid questions like "What elevation are we at? or Do you take American money?" Basically walk around fat and happy! Well I did and did you know that the police in Grand Cayman get really pissed off, in a very polite way of course, and ask you not to stand in the street. Besides the people there will try to run over you! You can see it in their sun wrinkled little eyes! There was an added bonus to our trip that I did not expect and that was the huge boost to our ego. We both quickly discovered that we don't look too bad at all. A full 95% of the guests on the boat looked far worse than we did! What about the other 5%, well they are just narcissists so who cares! I'm tellin' ya I have seen walrus haul outs that had less fat rolls and less hair than the pool area of our boat! I kept thinking that these poor people must not have had mirrors in their rooms! I'm sure you have heard the saying that the only people on the cruise ships are the newly wed, over fed, and the nearly dead. Well this is true but you can add one more category to this description...the sunburned red! was scary!!!

J. Kevin Curry